Stop Robbing Yourself

We all have things that frustrate us. Greatly, sometimes. Occasionally just for a moment perhaps – a flash of anger at someone pushing past you to cross the road first at a busy intersection, or the irritation of feeling ignored when you’re ready to order in a restaurant. Little things; unimportant things (maybe).

I guess it’s human nature to get fed up with the actions of others, although I’m sure something could be said about how even your smallest frustration simply reflects what’s going on with YOU rather than the other person. And is therefore your issue, and not theirs.  And if it really is now and then that things seem to be working against you then perhaps it’s not worth caring about.

But if your life is full of frustrations, of people doing the wrong thing by you or simply doing things the wrong way, of constantly living with a sense of having missed out, lost out, struck out, then I have to tell you –

You are robbing yourself. Yes YOU are robbing yourself of YOUR ability to live a fulfilled and purpose-full life. And painful though it may be to accept that the very vast majority of your problems are in fact YOUR problems – created and manifested; perhaps even unknowingly desired by nobody else – accept it you must nonetheless. Well, only if you want to get hold of that life of your dreams you’re always just missing out on grabbing. Only if you want to start loving the life you live. 

You think I’m being fanciful about how the world works? Let me tell you something. A few things, perhaps 🙂

• The person you glare at because of how rudely they shove past you? They don’t even notice. And if they do, they don’t care. Who are YOU, after all?
• The service person who doesn’t serve you in the manner you think acceptable? Whether or not they enjoy their job or are even good at it is really none of your concern. Only YOUR response is.
• Your staff member who just doesn’t care about doing things exactly right? Got it in one – they don’t care as much as you. And nor should they! How can anyone care as much as you about YOUR stuff.
• The boss you resent for not recognising your true talent? They have their own issues. Your happiness is not their concern.
• The partner who just won’t stop doing that annoying thing that they KNOW gets to you? You’re not perfect either sweetie. You can bet your bottom dollar you’re getting to them at times as well. If they let things get to them that is.
• The world that just won’t let you get ahead. Well surely I don’t have to tell you how ridiculous it is to blame the world for your problems?

But here’s the thing. If you think it’s ridiculous to blame the world for your problems (and I hope that you do), how is it any less ridiculous to blame another person? A company?

If you think about it, isn’t it perhaps a little more ridiculous to allow anybody aside from you to have even a hint of power over your life? Your future? Your destiny? It is, isn’t it? Ridiculous, that is.

the future is yours

I started this post saying that maybe the little things that irritate you don’t matter. But I take it back. You see, I’m a big believer in little actions determining big outcomes. And that little habit you have of turning your nose up at other people’s silliness, or poor standards, or yes even plain downright rudeness? It’s a habit of letting yourself be governed by other people. You think it’s just for a moment? You think it’s not such a big deal?

How many moments have there been?

And how quickly are you getting on track with loving the life you live in between? Does your habit of constantly reacting to things allow you to see the good in the world, and all the possibilities in store for you, or does it cause you to be slower, more resigned, more resentful? If somebody else were to predict what sort of person you’ll be in your retirement years, would they say happy, carefree, surrounded by love and success?

And you – what do you predict? That the world is against you, or that it’s yours for the taking?

It’s a choice, isn’t it? Be sure to make it a deliberate one.

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