HOW TO PISS OFF THE WRONG PEOPLE, AND HAVE THE RIGHT PEOPLE COME CLOSER

The fastest way to grow a tribe of loyal fans and followers who completely align with what you have to say and how you show up and say or show it, is to get really really fucking good at infuriating everybody else.

Of course you don’t have to think of it this way, and the truth is that I never set out to infuriate the wrong people and thus bring MY peeps closer, tightening the net of this badass community with every real raw truth I spoke, but yet that’s exactly what I DID do, continue to do, and it is a HUGE part of why I have such an engaged online community of driven motherfuckers who think and believe and live VERY freaking similarly to how I do, and who are, therefore, TOTAL soulmate clients and followers.

Wanna know something EXTRA cool about building a community of TRUE raving fans???!

They’re not just there because you gave away some free shit once upon a time, or they somehow found themselves accidentally on your list, and they’re kinda sorta wondering WHY they’re even hearing from you, and eventually they just, well, DON’T.

They’re there because they absofuckinglutely WANT to be there.

So much so, that if you have the audacity to not email or blog for like – a day! – they will in fact message you to a) see if you died and b) kick your ass in a not unsimilar way to what you do to them most of the time.

(Thank you very much!)

They also truly and ruly want to IMBIBE your message. They GET that it’s so much more than just inspo shit taking up space on social media, or even surface-based ‘how to’ stuff which may or may not be of use in their business and lives.

They’re happy to hear the how-to’s, if you’re offering them! But what they are THERE for, is the deep and transformative SOUL messaging which you’re unleashing FROM your soul, to, well, theirs.

I don’t have to tell you, there are NUMEROUS flow-on effects of muchas aweseomeness, which come from building such a tribe. Building? Fucking MAGNETIZING in baby, let’s call it what it is!

For example:

– Your tribe will love on each OTHER just as much as, if not more than, what they love on you. INSTANT SOULMATE FRIENDS all around. Every single person connects with and next level adores every single person. I see this so powerfully each time my Inner Circle private clients meet for one of our 3x a year retreats. It’s almost impossible to believe, without seeing it, just how INSTANT and deep the friendships are, and there are zero exceptions.

This can only happen, because I myself am COMPLETELY in alignment with who I take on as a client. Soulmate or nothing, zero exceptions. As a result, I have literally created a ‘somewhat secret society’ of what I believe are the MOST crazy powerful creators and change-makers in the world, each and every one of them a born STAR. Which can make for some interesting shouty dynamics and / or certain people commandeering my studio / lighting / audience / whatever they can get in front of. Haha.

– YOU will actually love and adore your tribe. I feel like this should not be necessary to say … however a LOT of coaches and leaders don’t LOVE their audience. They’ll use that word, sure. But love ’em to where they would of COURSE share a bed with them if need be? Love ’em to where they actually WANT to spend extra time, paid OR unpaid, with them? Love ’em to where EVERY interaction expands the client AND the coach? I don’t think so.

Every week I receive many beautiful messages from my clients commenting on how deeply I truly care and love each of them. I love hearing these, and it also makes me feel a bit squirmy and uncomfortable, because there’s that part of me that gets self-conscious, but also because I’m aware that the reason that happened is I just COULDN’T FUCKING EVEN WITH EVERYBODY ELSE. lol. I just eventually got selfish enough as a coach to refuse to have to deal for even a SECOND with people I don’t next level ADORE.

– People buy shit from you on repeat, often VERY quickly after finding you, generally without even reading the offer, and at conversion rates that befuddle the rest of the industry. If that is YOU then lemme tell you: your internet market-y rules got nothing on simply speaking from the soul. People like US have sales numbers that make no sense because WE DON’T PLAY IN YOUR RULES, and also, by the way, we don’t even CONCERN ourselves with things like how to increase our sales conversions. Ha! We concern ourselves exclusively with how to be more raw, more real, more from the soul, more deeply guided from within, more connected to ONLY doing what our higher self desires and requires.

REAL never fails.

But here’s the deal, okay?

For any or all of this to work – and not just work, but work with SUCH freaking ease and flow, like it does for me and my clients, for THIS tribe, then it does indeed REQUIRE you to be 100% unfiltered.

AS fuck,

No exceptions.
No excuses.
No flakiness either, with the consistency side of things.

You gotta SHOW UP AND BARE YOUR NAKED SOUL TO THE WORLD EVERY DAMN DAY.

I mean … you DON’T gotta do ANY fucking thing, certainly not what I say.

But, well –

If you say you’re a leader – 
If you call yourself a messenger – 
If you consider yourself a SEEKER and a TRUTH speaker, then, well –

You’re gonna need to be leading, messaging, showing up and SPEAKING said truth, y’know?

And if you’re going to CALL yourself something, then in the end, you’re either being it –

Or you’re not.

BEING is an all day every day sorta thing. So no, it’s not about ‘gotta do this each day; check it off a list’. It IS about the fact that if you ARE WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE AND WHO YOU SEEK TO BE, you WOULD be doing it each day, no matter what. Because you can’t NOT. BECAUSE IT’S WHO YOU ARE.

And here is what else.

I’m gonna tell you something that may just hurt a little. It MIGHT sting. It MIGHT even scare you, and perhaps it’s even been holding you back up unTIL this point:

THERE WILL BE PEOPLE WHO DON’T LIKE YOU.

SOME of them will even profess to HATE you.

SOME of them will even call you names … see only one side of you … infuriatingly not listen to your TRUE message, because they’ve got themselves all into a tizzy about one bit of you they don’t like, or find ‘wrong’ or too diva-ish or too inappropriate, or this, or that, or the other.

SOME of them might even tell you how to talk … dress … look … probably breathe, if you gave them a chance!

Guess what?

NONE of them fucking matter.

Guess what else?

If you are NOT actively pissing off and infuriating the WRONG people, there is a very good (ahem, definite!) chance that the RIGHT PEOPLE DON’T EVEN SEE YOU.

It’s not just about drawing the right ones closer.

It’s about the fact that they literally won’t SEE you.

How could they, when all you’re showing is bland and boring bullshit?

YOU might know what an opinionated and powerful badass you are, with a message so powerful it’d take your breath away, but if you’re not in fact LETTING IT TAKE THEIR BREATH AWAY … shocking them … causing them to exclaim out loud at the AUDACITY of you, and how you’re saying the things THEY THINK BUT NOBODY DARES TO SAY, then, well –

THEY WON’T KNOW.

THEY WON’T CARE.

THEY WON’T COME CLOSER.

AND THEY WON’T EVEN SNEAK INTO BED WITH YOU HALFWAY THROUGH THE NIGHT OR STEAL YOUR ESPRESSO MARTINI WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING!

I know!

IT’S RIDICULOUS.

So here is what you do.

If you know you’re being KINDA bland and boring and COMPLETELY forgettable … even a lil bit. Don’t feel bad, firstly. I WAS SO FUCKING BORING before I remembered that all I had to do was be me! And then for a WHILE I continued to be freaking boring, mixed with occasionally overly desperate-y or sometimes overly AGGRESSIVE, like I was trying to prove a point or something, until I eventually found my way.

The cool thing is … you don’t have to find a way OUTSIDE of you.

It’s all already up in there gorgeous. In your SOUL. But you DO have to let it out. How to do that?

Take a deep breath. Some people really WILL be horrified and personally offended at you being you.

Next:

DO IT ANYWAY.

The way you always HAVE done, when you’re already AROUND your true peeps. For me I’ve always been MOST me when I’m being silly and ridiculous with my 3 younger siblings and my parents. I get extra loud … inappropriate as fuck … supremely silly and giggly … and may speak half in German or half in Friends quotes at any given moment. I also expect to be listened to, loved, heard.

AND I AM.

Same is true with my besties of course (and it goes both ways, I might add; also with my family!)

So all I did, to build the MOST incredible tribe of creators and purpose-driven hustlers on the PLANET, was I started to BE THAT ME.

I started to say in public what would previously only have been ‘okay’ in private.

I started to let the crrrrrraaazzzzzyyyyy out.

I eventually let ALL of it out.

I gave myself permission to talk about anything –

Do anything –

Be random or silly or ranty or funny as fuck.

TO BE ALL OF WHO I AM. And to let it – just as in real life – CHANGE EVERY DAY!

Duh, right?

What happened?

SO MUCH COOL SHIT.

Business got SUPER freaking easy.
My soul peeps found me and continued to.
My sales BLEW UP.
My following blew up – but only with 100% perfect people.
MY STAR ROSE.
I became known.
I became ‘famous’ in my industry.
I had TOO MUCH FUN … DO have too much fun … ALL THE TIME.
People wondered HOW ON EARTH I’VE BUILD THIS BUSINESS.
Even Frank Kern and Andy Jenkins could be seen once scratching their heads and saying ‘she makes HOW much? Doing WHAT?’

I broke the rules.
And with it, my own fucking corner of the internet.

The DOWNSIDE, if you wanna look at it that way, is there’ve been many people along the way who THINK I AM A BAD PERSON. Or an overly aggressive person. Or a vapid person even! (I was in the top few percent of the country bitches!!). Or they think whatever they THINK, but you know what I think?

So
fucking
what

Imma be over here with MY bitches, changing the fucking world.

And that’s REALLY all I came here to say.

How ’bout you?

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